COOKING QUOTES



***
“A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety.” 
- Aesop 
***
“A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a **** who looks at her watch.” 
- James Beard 
***
“American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.” 
- Dave Barry 
***
“Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.” 
- Fran Lebowitz 
***
“Asparagus inspires gentle thoughts.” 
- Charles Lamb 
***
“Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat. “
- Jim Davis 
***
“But those aren't the flavors. That'd make too much sense. Apple and pear, according to Dr. Phil, are body types the bars are made for. Hey, I've got some advice. If you look like an apple or a pear, eat an apple or a pear! [On Dr. Phil's energy bars]” 
- Lewis Black 
***
“Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.” 
- Ambrose Bierce 
***
“Candy Corn is the only candy in the history of America that's never been advertised. And there's a reason. All of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.” 
- Lewis Black 
***
“Come along inside... We'll see if tea and buns can make the world a better place.” 
- Kenneth Grahame 
***
“Don't let love interfere with your appetite. It never does with mine.” 
- Anthony Trollope 
***
“Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.” 
- Dave Barry 
***
“Erasers would taste good with this sauce. “(on eating escargot) 
- Jan Sterling 
***
“Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.” 
- George Carlin 
***
“Food is our common ground, a universal experience.” 
- James Beard 
***
“HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig.” 
- Anonymous 
***
“Health food may be good for the conscience but Oreos taste a hell of a lot better.” 
- Robert Redford 
***
“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.” 
- Erma Bombeck 
***
“I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. “
- Anonymous 
***
“I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.” 
- George Bush 
***
“I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.” 
- Katherine Cebrian 
***
“I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.” 
- Andy Rooney 
***
“I don't like gourmet cooking or "this" cooking or "that" cooking. I like good cooking.” 
- James Beard 
***
“I love Thanksgiving turkey...it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.” 
- Arnold Schwarzenegger 
***
“I tell you one thing. I've been to a parallel universe, I've seen time running backwards, I've played pool with planets, and I've given birth to twins, but I never thought in my entire life I'd taste an edible Pot Noodle.” 
- Craig Charles 
***
“I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate.” 
- Julia Child 
***
“I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.” 
- Steven Wright 
***
“I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead. “
- Woody Allen 
***
“I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.” 
- Bob Monkhouse 
***
“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” 
- J. R. R. Tolkien 
***
“If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?”
- Jo Brand 
***
“If you ever have to support a flagging conversation, introduce the topic of eating.” 
- Leigh Hunt 
***
“Isn't there any other part of the matzo you can eat?” (on being served matzo ball soup three meals in a row) 
- Marilyn Monroe 
***
“It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.” 
- Douglas Adams 
***
“It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks.” 
- Pierre Auguste Renoir 
***
“It was kind of boring for me to have to eat. I would know that I had to, and I would.” 
- Kate Moss 
***
“Many aspects of my method are based on my feeling and experience. For instance, I always give my bird a generous butter massage before I put it in the oven. Why? Because I think the chicken likes it—and, more important, I like to give it.”
- Julia Child 
***
“McDonalds announced it’s considering a more humane way of slaughtering its animals. You know they fatten them up and then kill them. You know the same thing they do to their customers, isn’t it?”
- Jay Leno 
***
“Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.” 
- Rita Rudner 
***
“Most vegetables are something God invented to let women get even with their children. A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something brussels sprouts never do.” (The Bachelor Home Companion) 
- P. J. O'Rourke 
***
“My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four; unless there are three other people.” 
- Orson Welles 
***
“Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry always gets the best of the argument.” 
- Richard Whately 
***
“No man is lonely while eating spaghetti.” 
- Robert Morley 
***
“Noncooks think it's silly to invest two hours' work in two minutes' enjoyment; but if cooking is evanescent, so is the ballet.” 
- Julia Child 
***
“Once, during prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. “
- W. C. Fields 
***
“Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our cooks.” 
- Lin Yutang 
***
“Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.” 
- Gilbert K. Chesterton 
***
“Shredded cabbage goes great with shredded carrots and mayonnaise.” 
- Cole's Law 
***
“Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.” 
- Wallace Irwin 
***
“Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are.”
- Anthelme Brillat-Savarin 
***
“The first law of dietetics seems to be: if it tastes good, it's bad for you. “
- Isaac Asimov 
***
“The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.” 
- Woody Allen 
***
“The manner of their living is very barbarous, because they do not eat at fixed times, but as often as they please.” 
- Amerigo Vespucci 
***
“The real fact is that I could no longer stand their eternal cold mutton.” (on why he left England for South Africa) 
- Cecil Rhodes 
***
“The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.” 
- Johnny Carson 

***
“There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.” 
- Mahatma Gandhi 
***
“There is no sincerer love than the love of food.” 
- George Bernard Shaw 
***
“There is such a thing as food and such a thing as poison. But the damage done by those who pass off poison as food is far less than that done by those who generation after generation convince people that food is poison.” 
- Paul Goodman 
***
“Thou shouldst eat to live; not live to eat.” 
- Socrates 
***
“Watermelon—it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face.” 
- Enrico Caruso 
***
“We don't discuss anything anyway. Unless it appears on Patrick's official breakfast-time agenda. And that consists mainly of food. Minutes of the last meal and proposals for the next.” 
- Alan Ayckbourn 
***
“When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.” 
- Andy Rooney 
***
“When you cook it should be an act of love. To put a frozen bag in the microwave for your child is an act of hate.” 
- Raymond Blanc 
***
“You can never have enough garlic. With enough garlic, you can eat The New York Times.” 
- Morley Safer 
***
“You can say this for ready-mixes - the next generation isn't going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make. “
- Earl Wilson 
***
“You know that really was quite the most appalling mean I've ever tasted. I'd forgotten how bad she was. Burnt Earl Grey omelettes. It's almost an art form to mistreat food in that way.” 
- Alan Ayckbourn 
***
“You know, nobody eats in England. Three or four pints of English beer a night fills you. I can't say I'm very impressed with the food in America. it's all sort of bland. Like turkey sandwiches.” 
- Anne Dudley 

***
"Some people like to paint pictures, or do gardening, or build a boat in the basement. Other people get a tremendous pleasure out of the kitchen because cooking is just as creative and imaginative an activity as drawing, or wood carving, or music."
Julia Child

"Cooking is like love, it should be entered into with abandon or not at all"
Harriet van Horne
***
"No one who cooks, cooks alone. Even at her most solitary, a cook in the kitchen is surrounded by generations of cooks past, the advice and menus of cooks present and the wisdom of cookbook writers."
Laurie Colwin
***
“Dessert is probably the most important stage of the meal, since it will be the last thing your guests remember before they pass out all over the table.”
 The Anarchist Cookbook
***
“I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly.  Tuna fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock.” –Barbara Grizzuti Harrison
***
“Vegetables are a must on a diet.  I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie.”  Jim Davis
***
“You don’t have to cook fancy or complicated masterpieces—just good food from fresh ingredients.”—Julia Child
***

“When baking, follow directions.  When cooking, go by your own taste.” --Laiko Bahrs
***
“Worries go down better with soup.”  --Jewish Proverb
***
“There is nothing better on a cold wintry day than a properly made pot pie.” --Craig Claiborne
***

“I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good - if it's the pepper or the oni.”  --Ulrik Stephens
***

“The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you're hungry again.” --George Miller
***

“Food for thought is no substitute for the real thing.” --Walt Kelly
***




Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)